Stuffs

[bagheera_san]

I betaed fic for the first time in a long while (years) today, and, wow, it was fun! The other times I betaed it was for my best friend and for my long-time beta, and both times I wasn't accustomed to critical reading yet and I didn't actually LOVE the stories, so it was more like a chore I didn't mind doing than actual FUN.

(Which doesn't mean that I was any good at it - but I'm pretty sure I've gotten better at it.)

*

I started taking the pill again three days ago (not as contraception but because of polycystic disease and hyperandrogenism). The last time I took it I stopped after two months because it seemed like the trigger for my depression. I switched to another brand, and of course three days are no proper indicator at all, but I do feel a bit sick - maybe it's just food poisoning, though.

*

Trying to write my sequel prompts, and I'm starting to wonder if that was really such a good idea. I reread "From The Ruins" and the Batman Elseworlds and now I'm INTIMIDATED by my own writing (does that ever happen to anybody else?). I feel like I can't really do those stories justice but just writing some quick little fic, and on the other hand, I'm not sure I've got the energy for SV left to try anything more in-depth. I've also reread parts of "Devil's Deal", and while I still think it's a good story, I would edit lots of it if I ever re-wrote it.

Comments

[danceswithgary]

I reread "From The Ruins" and the Batman Elseworlds and now I'm INTIMIDATED by my own writing (does that ever happen to anybody else?)

Sort of, yeah. I know I read some of my stories and wonder how I managed to write something like that (in a good way - not that I think it sucks) and whether I could write a sequel to it that 'matched.' I've also re-read things and winced at typos I could have sworn were fixed.

[bagheera-san.livejournal.com]

and wonder how I managed to write something like that
Yeah, that's exactly it.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

I betaed fic for the first time in a long while (years) today,

And it was damned useful, thanks!

The last time I took it I stopped after two months because it seemed like the trigger for my depression

Oh, that happened to me too. *wince*

INTIMIDATED by my own writing (does that ever happen to anybody else?

Hm. I think it has on occasion, but normally I'm in a fugue of 'eugh, what was I DOING here?!' and the answer is normally not 'something awesome¹⁰!!!1!' Looking back on stuff you've done can be so 0_0--> :[ --> x_x inducing.

[bagheera-san.livejournal.com]

My this-sucks-so-much phase usually comes shortly after I've written stuff. Or it happens with stories that I wrote in a forced way, i.e. to please a specific audience / challenge / prompter.

[drakeofdross.livejournal.com]

INTIMIDATED by my own writing (does that ever happen to anybody else?)

Yes, absolutely. That's why I can't finish several of my stories, especially ones in the HP fandom since I've been out of it for so long and I really don't know if I can keep the same tone and voice, but it's also affecting Superconductor's sequel since I think Superconductor is probably my single favorite of all my stories (with a possible exception of Monkey See) and I think the beginning of the sequel went really well and now I'm in a weak part that I know very little about (ie, weddings) so I'm afraid it won't match up to the rest of it.

[bagheera-san.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can easily imagine the plot of a sequel, but the tone and voice are so much harder.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

I'm INTIMIDATED by my own writing (does that ever happen to anybody else?).

Oh god, constantly. It's either that or I read and old story and want to rewrite it, as you said - but even then I'll usually be thinking that the plot's better than anything I could come up with now and it's only the prose that needs some smoothing. I had a pretty sharp learning curve the first few years I was writing fic, so my very early stories I know I can do better, but anything from the last five years, I don't know if I've actually improved, and I worry I've backslid...(why yes, I am the most insecure excuse for an author ever!)

[bagheera-san.livejournal.com]

and I worry I've backslid

This worry is like the bane of my writerly existence!