bagheera_san: (Nakamura)
[personal profile] bagheera_san
OMFG, one evening away from the computer, and this flist thing explodes with cool stuff. Well yesterday evening was major fun, too. It felt like all the manic happiness to counterpoint my regular depressiveness stuffed into a couple of hours. And I have to get my hands on Heroes 2.01 - I haven't even fully processed S1 yet! And the fic you all suddenly produced! Whee!

Anyways, I saw [livejournal.com profile] slinkling made a list of what she'd like to happen in SV S7. I'm going to treat this as a meme! :D (Beware: this utilizes some spoilers for S7.)



1. In episode 1, Bizarro tries to drown Lex in the river. Kara shows up and saves him in a callback to pilot. But instead of making up stupid excuses, Kara just says, "I'm Kara Zor-El of Krypton and I saved your ass" and then flies off. Lex is left baffled but with clear recognition on his face.

2. Sometimes during episode 2, Chloe finds clues that Lana isn't really dead. So does Lex. Everyone sets out to find her, and at one point Chloe and Clark run into Lex and to prevent him from finding Lana first, they kidnap him. The next couple of episodes are spent with the two of them dragging a very angry Lex in handcuffs around the world on a hunt for Lana.

3. Meanwhile, Lois does some competent investigative reporting back in Metropolis in order to clear up what exactly went wrong in Lana's and Lex's marriage. Doing so, she keeps bumping into this weird police detective - John Jones.

4. Clark, Chloe and Lex finally manage to track down Lana, somewhere. A flimsy explanation, probably involving Lana-fu, witchcraft and the JL, is given as to how she managed to fake her death.
Lex: You faked your death and I was blamed for it!
Lana: You totally deserved it!
Chloe: Why didn't you just push for a divorce?
Lana: Because Lionel threatened Clark's life!
Lex: How? Why? *suspicion*
Clark: Grrrr.
Lana refuses to go anywhere near Lionel again. The rest of them return home.

5. Meanwhile, Lois stumbles into a secret lab somewhere in Metropolis and finds ... Lana's baby. Dun dun dun! It's not dead! It's not human!
Lois: OMG, the fake baby is an alien! Lana was the Bride of Zod!
Detective John Jones: Um.... why don't you fall asleep now, Miss Lane?
Lois: Wha...? *is telepathically put to sleep*
Martian: *snatches baby*

6. Kara keeps looking for little baby Kal-El. Eventually she realizes that Kal-El arrived in 1989 and is way much older now. A trail of plot rocks leads her back to Lex:
Kara: Yo, nearly drowned guy! Have you seen Kal-El?
Lex:...?
Kara: Yeah, he's got dark hair and eyes like mine and he never goes anywhere without his blankie... or well, maybe he does now. He eats like a [insert generic alien animal name here], too! By the way, you got something to eat?
Lex:... tell me more. Servants, bring the young lady some food. *sinisterly puts tranquilizers into drink*
Kara: So he arrived some time ago in a meteor shower. The meteors are sorta toxic, sorry about the mess. Our planet kinda exploded. *eats like a [insert generic alien animal name here]*
Lex: Your... planet. *fidgets*
Kara: He was a little kid then, so I guess maybe some nice people adopted him!
Lex: Are you feeling tired yet?
Kara: ... no?

7. Lionel (in lab): Aliens stole my baby! My sweet, monstrous test-tube clone! My perfect heir! *weeps evilly*

8. Clark and Chloe return to the farm. Clark looks after the much-neglected cows. Crappy music plays. Barn scene, moping, without Lana. When he returns to the house, Chloe looks disturbed.
Chloe: Clark, there's a guy in the kitchen, eating all your cookies.
Clark: My cookies!
Chloe: He says he's a Martian.
Clark: Oh, him.
Chloe: He has a baby.
Clark: A Martian baby?
Martian: Kal-El, this is your little test-tube clone.
The front door busts open. Kara stomps in, sees Clark and runs over to hug him.
Kara: OMG! You, like, grew a mile! You're a giant! OMG! Kal-El! It's me, your cousin from Krypton!
Clark: ... Mom? Help?

9. They all shack up on the farm.

10. Clark is an ass to Kara and forbids her to run in the Miss Creamed Corn pageant.
Clark: You've got a secret Kara. People could get hurt... by your alien... beauty. And the cows won't feed themselves.
Kara: Whatever!

11. At the Luthor mansion. Lex broods and drinks and stares at his Evidence Against Clark Kent collection. Kara busts in.
Kara: You're evil, right?
Lex: Well, that was quick.
Kara: Right. Let's run away?
Lex: You're an alien. *dramatic music*
Kara: Exactly! So it totally shouldn't matter that I'm underage. Besides, you're evil, you corrupt the innocent. Can we take the Ferrari?

12. Lois and Chloe foil one of Lex's evil plots. Lex's evil plot is disguised as a production of a Warrior Angel movie. This requires Clark to wear a ridiculous and revealing costume in front of people. Last scene of this episode:
Kara (walks into the den in a skimpy Warrior Angel costume): Naughty, naughty Lex!
Lex: My childhood!

13. At some point, a space villain plot develops. Possibly with Brainiac, Bizarro or random aliens out to conquer the Earth. Lois keeps trying to tell people about it, but no one believes her.

14. Very Special Episode: Back to college! Clark meets the beautiful, wheel-chair bound Lori Lemaris. But can their love prevail in spite of the secrets and lies?
Last scene: Clark, Lois, the beach at night. (Look, there's a beach somewhere. Perhaps it's the harbor in Metropolis.)
Clark (staring woefully at the engagement ring): Will I ever find true love?
Lois: Nah, probably not. Love sucks, anyways.
Clark: She was a mermaid. I was a... farmer. It wasn't meant to be. *tosses ring into sea*
Lois: Yeah, and she ran off with that Aquadude to rule Atlantis. Bitch.

15. Limousine in the streets of Metropolis. Kara is shopping. The limousine follows her. The window rolls down. It's Lionel.
Lionel: Hello, little alien girl. Let me show you something. *he hands her a suitcase and drives off, evilly*
Kara looks at the contents of the suitcase. She frowns. Tinkly music of doom.
Kara: Oh, that's not nice.
Some time later, at the mansion. Clark bursts in with the suitcase. It looks a little battered.
Clark: You made Kara cry! Nobody makes my cousin cry!
Lex: Aha! She's your cousin! *dramatic music* So you're an alien, too!
Clark:... we're only cousins by marriage? Interspecies marriage?
Lex: All these years, you lied to me.
Clark: (lifts suitcase accusingly) How could I not have? You would have put me in a lab like you did with all these meteor mutants!
Lex: I didn't put Kara into a lab, now did I?
Kara: Well, there was that one time, when you wanted us to play mad scientist and -
Clark: What?!
Kara: Just kidding!
Clark: Anyways, now my secret is safe. Chloe has... done tech-y stuff... with computers and all that... and now if you expose my secret (brandishes suitcase) - we'll expose yours!
Lex: A deal. I see. If you want it to be that way...
Clark: It can never be another way, Lex. We weren't meant to be.
Lex: No. Perhaps we weren't.
*sad music, longing gazes*

16. AU episode! In the teaser, we see Lana in a dusty library. She finds a book about magic. Sparkly pink magic happens, and a sparkly genie appears. It looks rather like Mr Mxyzptlk.
Genie: You have one wish. Two if it's something really funny.
Lana: Well, I'm a good person. I'm not going to wish something bad on people. So... I wish the Luthors weren't bad people!
ZAP! Magic happens. Suddenly, we live in a universe where everyone who was "good" before is "evil" now...
Evil JL: Bwahaha! We rule the world!
Evil Martha: No, you don't. I'm the President of the US.
Good Lionel: She's not evil, really. Everyone deserves a second chance.
Clark: Wait, why is everyone evil? Why am I not evil? What just happened?
Mr Mxyzptlk: You'd be having fun if you were evil, and I want you to suffer! You're the only one who remembers what the world was like before...
Evil things happen. Clark is captured by the evil JL. He discovers that the evil mastermind behind them is Chloe. Right before she proceeds to ravish him, Lex saves him. They figure out a way to reverse what Mr Mxyzptlk did.
Lex(hesitates to push the button of their universe-changing doo-hickey): And in your universe, everyone is a good guy?
Clark: Well... everyone who's evil here, yeah.
Lex: What about me? I'm not sure what I am here... fighting against the Justice League isn't always fluffy bunnies.
Clark: It's complicated. I think you used to be a good guy.
Lex: I see.
Clark: I'm sorry. I wish I could save the world and you both.
Lex: You should put the world first, Clark. Always. (pushes button)
The world is back as it was before. We see Lana in the library again, bagging the magic book and leaving.

17. Clark, on the phone.
Clark: Mom, I've realized that it's time to really use my powers for good. I've been so preoccupied with my own problems... but I could be saving the world.
Martha: Oh, Clark. I'm so proud of you.
Clark: I'm going to join the Justice League.
Martha: ... Clark, do you really think that's a good idea? I'm sure they mean well, but their methods are... well... what do you think your father would say if he knew you went around blowing up buildings?
Clark: But they're evil buildings!

18. Lionel threatens to expose Clark's and Kara's secret if Chloe doesn't hand over the test-tube baby.
Martian: By the moons of Mars! I think I have been fooled all this time. This man is truly evil.
Chloe: You can't make me choose between the baby and Clark. I'll heroically sacrifice my own morals to bring you down, Lionel!
Chloe goes to Lex and tells him the truth about Lana's pregnancy and the stolen test-tube clone.
Lex: This is the final straw!
Lex kills Lionel in true epic fashion. Then he angsts in true epic fashion. Clark fails to be properly outraged.
Chloe: Clark, I have become an accessory to murder. I must leave you and be a pariah. If you need me, I'll be living with Lana... *scribbles down address*
Clark: Noooooo!
Mystery Person From Gotham: Miss Sullivan, I have a job offer for you...
Chloe: Will I be able to properly atone for my sins there?
Mystery Person From Gotham: That can be arranged.
Chloe: Yay!

19. Evil Space Villains prepare to invade Earth. Meanwhile, Clark and Kara fly to the Arctic. They have a meaningful conversation about Krypton, then Clark finishes his education. Meanwhile, Lois is seen sitting at the Daily Planet, furiously writing her first article.

20. Washington: Martha Kent reads the DP morning edition. She looks alarmed.
Gotham: Chloe, dressed all in black, picks up the DP at a newsstand. She whistles in surprise then pulls out her mobile phone. She vaccillates between calling Clark and a mysterious other number.
JL Headquarters: Ollie throws away the DP and calls together the team.
LuthorCorp Plaza: Lex watches as the LuthorCorp sign is replaced by a LexCorp sign. An assistant brings a DP, he reads, then suddenly turns around and gazes at the sky.
Kent Farm: Clark and Kara walk up to the farm. Clark picks up the DP from the porch and reads the headline. He passes it to Kara.
Clark: This sounds like a job for -
Daily Planet, editor's office: The editor is cussing Lois out for something to do with the headline. She looks unconcered and points at the window. The editor looks out and blanches.

Two red and blue streaks fly by the window, off to fight the space villains.

THE END.

Date: 2007-09-25 12:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saturnalia.livejournal.com
Hee! Fabulous. Yes, Kara, the cows won't feed themselves!

Date: 2007-09-25 01:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bagheera-san.livejournal.com
Your icon is brilliant :D

Date: 2007-09-25 01:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] medea-aries.livejournal.com
*claps enthusiastically*

Chloe: Clark, there's a guy in the kitchen, eating all your cookies.
Clark: My cookies!
= So. Much. Love.

One thing, though: Don´t you get batman tangled into this! I refuse to have him touch the Samllville world with a 10 ft. bargepole. God knows what lame ass thing they´d turn him into. They´d probably make him fall for Lana *purses lips*. That would very much kill his coolness factor.

Date: 2007-09-25 01:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bagheera-san.livejournal.com
I didn't have a good idea what to do with Chloe but didn't want to kill her! So I just used the old fandom cliché that she's going to be shipped off to Gotham or something. But there are tons of people in Gotham besides Batman. She could be working for... uh... okay, it's Batman.

And I don't want to see Batman on SV either - he'd be an Ollie clone anyways.

Date: 2007-09-25 02:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] medea-aries.livejournal.com
... *wibbles*. he´d fall for Lana, I know it *wibbles more*. Don´t we have some other millionaire whe can dump her to?

Not quite an Ollie clone I think (who, by the way, gets on my nerves. Just though I´d put that out there). He´d be... taller and darker and broodier. Charming and sophisticated. And I think none of those things fit smallville. What excuse could one possibly use to ship Gotham´s king into rural Kansas beats me, so I hope the SV crew won´t even try it.

I don´t want to see batman in Sv either. Except if they were to tangle him in a sticky, sweaty man!love affair with Lex, in which case I´m totally cheering his presence on SV on and sticking to the screen like I did in S1. Except more, because the picture in my head is all seven kinds of lovely *sighs happily*

Date: 2007-09-25 01:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosy5000.livejournal.com
*giggles* Sounds SOOOOOOO much better than what we'll probably end up with.

This:

10. Clark is an ass to Kara and forbids her to run in the Miss Creamed Corn pageant.
Clark: You've got a secret Kara. People could get hurt... by your alien... beauty. And the cows won't feed themselves.
Kara: Whatever!


My favorite. lol

Date: 2007-09-25 01:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bagheera-san.livejournal.com
I'm starting to think that SV is going to have to fuck up really hard to make me not like Kara. (The worst they could do is to make her all serious and angsty, or Raya v 2.0 I want her to be cheeky and rebellious and all that.)

Date: 2007-09-25 02:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skipthedemon.livejournal.com
I approve. A lot.

Date: 2007-09-25 02:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skipthedemon.livejournal.com
Sorry, I was going with the "best friends turned enemies" theme! The Doctor actually calls the Master "My best enemy" in one of the old school episodes, I can't remember which. The video clip is, of course, from this last season.

Here's a happier icon.

Date: 2007-09-25 02:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bagheera-san.livejournal.com
I've watched a few vid's of last season's finale, but I can't bring myself to watch the whole thing because I know it'll break my heart and make me sad. Denial is so much easier when your idea of canon is mercifully vague!

Date: 2007-09-25 02:53 pm (UTC)
ext_3572: (doctor master constellations)
From: [identity profile] xparrot.livejournal.com
Ahhhh but the finale is beautiful and wonderful and awesome and also the denial is written into the show!!! (no, seriously, they left a backdoor the size of a submarine for the Master to come back, and according to casting leaks they might already be carrying it out...)

...okay, I'm gonna stop thinking about Who now, because thinking about arch-nemeses done RIGHT makes my heart break over SV that much more >.>

Date: 2007-09-25 03:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bagheera-san.livejournal.com
they might already be carrying it out
If they do, I'll be watching Who. Otherwise... oh, who am I kidding. I'm gonna cave to it eventually.

Date: 2007-09-25 02:49 pm (UTC)
ext_3572: (clex - so your place?)
From: [identity profile] xparrot.livejournal.com
O M F G...please say they hired you and this was a leak for the future eps? please please pleeeease? Lie to me if you must!

Lex: My childhood!

*dies* Kara is Teh Awesome.

And the special AU episode, even in 18 lines, kinda broke my heart. Oh Clark! Oh Lex! Oh for the love of little marshmallows, why isn't this the show we're watching?!

Date: 2007-09-25 03:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bagheera-san.livejournal.com
Now I'm sitting here on the other side of the world all flattered. Just so you know.

The special AU episode deserved much more than 18 lines (because within these 18 lines I finally figured out the major plot problem that kept me from turning it into a full blown fic. I'll be keeping the idea around.)

Date: 2007-09-25 05:24 pm (UTC)
ext_9839: Yuko (Default)
From: [identity profile] lukita.livejournal.com
=D If only you're actually working on the show. ♥

Love Kara in this and as long as she's not a Lana clone, I think I might like her in SV as well.

Dood, you managed to broke my heart with the AU episode and it's not even fic.

Date: 2007-09-27 08:37 pm (UTC)

Date: 2007-09-26 12:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hoperoy.livejournal.com
*sigh* How I wish you were on the payroll for writing season seven. :)

Date: 2007-09-27 08:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bagheera-san.livejournal.com
I wish I was on their payroll, too! (I don't want the job, just the money ;D The job probably sucks, because fandom is *never* happy, and you have to work with AlMiles and their ideas of where the show should go.)

Date: 2007-09-26 05:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slinkling.livejournal.com
*applauds madly*

If I had anything to do with inspiring this, I am truly proud. This is awesomeness upon awesomeness. Had I zillions of dollars at my disposal, I would instantly buy the whole SV franchise and install you as head writer, so you could make all this really happen.

Date: 2007-09-27 08:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bagheera-san.livejournal.com
Yeah, your post got me to write this down, thanks :D

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