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bagheera_sanFor ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
attaccabottoni, who has the hilarious icon to go with it ;)
Five of Lex's Revenge Plans for the Justice League
1.
This plan is cruel and spiteful and ultimately purposeless. In fact, it might even be counter-productive, but to be honest, Lex doubts that Superman can get any more popular than he already is.
And really, those morons deserve it for not trade-marking their names. All except Batman, interestingly.
After trade-marking "Superman", "Krypton" and several related terms, Lex sells some of the rights to network television.
Then he sits back and watches.
2.
Some of his plans tend to be rather byzantine. Lex comes up with this one in the few hours he and Superman spend assembling the de-powering ray to defeat the alternate Justice League. Lex know that they will win and he knows that Superman will keep his word and Lex will get a full pardon.
But he also realizes that Superman considers him the lesser of two evils. And then Superman lets him carry the ray. Hands it to him, after assembling it, and Lex knows what that means.
The plan evolves. If Lex can assemble a de-powering ray, then it should be easy to give himself powers. He has always resisted that temptation. It is a matter of personal pride. But this plan is not about the powers.
He would give himself flight, he imagines. Flight, and if he can achieve it, invulnerability. He would tailor a costume – do it himself so it will seem more authentic – and equip himself with better toys than Batman. It would have to be a gaudy costume. A cowl and a cape and a ridiculous name to go with it. Wearing the enemy's colours, he would make himself a name as a vigilante. Waste his time rescuing drunken drivers and idiots who set their houses on fire, until one day, the League will approach him.
The second stage of his plan would be the inevitable reveal that he is Lex Luthor in disguise. Here comes in Lex's acting ability and Superman's underlying need to believe the best of people. He would tell a sob story about dying of cancer and repenting and trying to make a difference in the little time he has left.
It would take some time to gain their trust. Seducing one of them might or might not be a good idea. The most difficult to convince would be the Martian with his telepathy. Lex would have to believe in what he is doing. He would have to be one of them.
The dangerous part is that Lex thinks he could do it. He feels it, as he and Superman stand side by side and fight, not for the first time. He felt it when they defeated Brainiac, too.
But with his head up above the clouds, with nothing but air under his feet and the stars within reach, Lex is afraid that he will betray himself before he betrays them.
3.
Once, when he was high as kite on pain killers and bored out of his mind in his prison cell, Lex made a list of things the League could conceivably be turned into.
Some of these things make sense. The de-aging ray, for example, might not be a bad idea. The de-evolution poison could perhaps work, too, if magic got involved, and the results might be entertaining. Lex has this theory that Kryptonians have evolved from plant-like organisms. There's a quite a number of inanimate objects and animals on the list, too. Next to the entry, "fish", Lex has scribbled something illegible about Aquaman.
Some entries, like "gender-switching ray", are just plain pointless. Flights of fancy. Knowing Superman, he'd be change his costume into something involving a mini-skirt, but that'd be it. The only one who might lose her powers when turned into a man is Wonder Woman, but Lex doesn't know enough about Amazonian culture and theology to be sure.
Some entries on the list are sort of counter-productive. Turning the League into evil copies of themselves would only make them harder to fight. Ditto on making them invisible, or turning them into super-geniuses. Although, when Lex thinks of his former R&D department, some of these people where hardly able to find to work in the mornings on their own. Sometimes it was best to just accept that not everyone could be a genius and practical as well, and just chain them to their lab equipment.
Maybe he had the same line of thought then, because the next entry is, "mindless slaves". From there it progresses to "mindless sex slaves" and "porn stars". Probably he didn't actually mean turning the League into actors but employing actors to impersonate them. A lot can be done with CGI these days. A few short clips on YouTube…
"Make them human," is not on the list for some reason. Maybe he just forgot it, but Lex suspects that he reminded himself of a time before all the caped freaks. Life was pretty fucking boring back then.
Besides, being human is not a punishment.
4.
This one Lex conceives after the failed alliance with Brainiac. He hasn't gained as much valuable information from the deal as he hoped, but he learned the former location of Krypton, the time of its destruction and some basic facts about Kryptonian space travel.
It's enough to roughly pin down the time and place of Superman's arrival on Earth. He must have arrived helpless, most likely as a child, without the powers given to him by the yellow sun, without any knowledge about Earth.
The wonderful thing about plans involving time travel is that there's never any hurry implementing them.
5.
The first time Lex comes up with this idea, he immediately discards it as mere fantasy. But he keeps coming back to it, because he loves unsolvable problems. It grows from a day dream into a file. He closes the file a couple of times over the years, each time convinced that he has proven that it isn't possible. But it never stays closed. After Brainiac infects him, Lex's ideas grow even more complex. The file turns into a program, a model, a simulation. There are equations now, variables and parameters, and Lex juggles them easily in his mind.
He's close to a solution. It's there, shimmering like the sun behind a last milky curtain of ignorance.
When he breaks through the Source Wall and sheds his last boundaries, Lex finally knows for certain.
Hunger, illnesses, war, ignorance – they can all be defeated. Life without crime, without a need for heroes is possible.
The world can be saved.
attaccabottoni, who has the hilarious icon to go with it ;)Five of Lex's Revenge Plans for the Justice League
1.
This plan is cruel and spiteful and ultimately purposeless. In fact, it might even be counter-productive, but to be honest, Lex doubts that Superman can get any more popular than he already is.
And really, those morons deserve it for not trade-marking their names. All except Batman, interestingly.
After trade-marking "Superman", "Krypton" and several related terms, Lex sells some of the rights to network television.
Then he sits back and watches.
2.
Some of his plans tend to be rather byzantine. Lex comes up with this one in the few hours he and Superman spend assembling the de-powering ray to defeat the alternate Justice League. Lex know that they will win and he knows that Superman will keep his word and Lex will get a full pardon.
But he also realizes that Superman considers him the lesser of two evils. And then Superman lets him carry the ray. Hands it to him, after assembling it, and Lex knows what that means.
The plan evolves. If Lex can assemble a de-powering ray, then it should be easy to give himself powers. He has always resisted that temptation. It is a matter of personal pride. But this plan is not about the powers.
He would give himself flight, he imagines. Flight, and if he can achieve it, invulnerability. He would tailor a costume – do it himself so it will seem more authentic – and equip himself with better toys than Batman. It would have to be a gaudy costume. A cowl and a cape and a ridiculous name to go with it. Wearing the enemy's colours, he would make himself a name as a vigilante. Waste his time rescuing drunken drivers and idiots who set their houses on fire, until one day, the League will approach him.
The second stage of his plan would be the inevitable reveal that he is Lex Luthor in disguise. Here comes in Lex's acting ability and Superman's underlying need to believe the best of people. He would tell a sob story about dying of cancer and repenting and trying to make a difference in the little time he has left.
It would take some time to gain their trust. Seducing one of them might or might not be a good idea. The most difficult to convince would be the Martian with his telepathy. Lex would have to believe in what he is doing. He would have to be one of them.
The dangerous part is that Lex thinks he could do it. He feels it, as he and Superman stand side by side and fight, not for the first time. He felt it when they defeated Brainiac, too.
But with his head up above the clouds, with nothing but air under his feet and the stars within reach, Lex is afraid that he will betray himself before he betrays them.
3.
Once, when he was high as kite on pain killers and bored out of his mind in his prison cell, Lex made a list of things the League could conceivably be turned into.
Some of these things make sense. The de-aging ray, for example, might not be a bad idea. The de-evolution poison could perhaps work, too, if magic got involved, and the results might be entertaining. Lex has this theory that Kryptonians have evolved from plant-like organisms. There's a quite a number of inanimate objects and animals on the list, too. Next to the entry, "fish", Lex has scribbled something illegible about Aquaman.
Some entries, like "gender-switching ray", are just plain pointless. Flights of fancy. Knowing Superman, he'd be change his costume into something involving a mini-skirt, but that'd be it. The only one who might lose her powers when turned into a man is Wonder Woman, but Lex doesn't know enough about Amazonian culture and theology to be sure.
Some entries on the list are sort of counter-productive. Turning the League into evil copies of themselves would only make them harder to fight. Ditto on making them invisible, or turning them into super-geniuses. Although, when Lex thinks of his former R&D department, some of these people where hardly able to find to work in the mornings on their own. Sometimes it was best to just accept that not everyone could be a genius and practical as well, and just chain them to their lab equipment.
Maybe he had the same line of thought then, because the next entry is, "mindless slaves". From there it progresses to "mindless sex slaves" and "porn stars". Probably he didn't actually mean turning the League into actors but employing actors to impersonate them. A lot can be done with CGI these days. A few short clips on YouTube…
"Make them human," is not on the list for some reason. Maybe he just forgot it, but Lex suspects that he reminded himself of a time before all the caped freaks. Life was pretty fucking boring back then.
Besides, being human is not a punishment.
4.
This one Lex conceives after the failed alliance with Brainiac. He hasn't gained as much valuable information from the deal as he hoped, but he learned the former location of Krypton, the time of its destruction and some basic facts about Kryptonian space travel.
It's enough to roughly pin down the time and place of Superman's arrival on Earth. He must have arrived helpless, most likely as a child, without the powers given to him by the yellow sun, without any knowledge about Earth.
The wonderful thing about plans involving time travel is that there's never any hurry implementing them.
5.
The first time Lex comes up with this idea, he immediately discards it as mere fantasy. But he keeps coming back to it, because he loves unsolvable problems. It grows from a day dream into a file. He closes the file a couple of times over the years, each time convinced that he has proven that it isn't possible. But it never stays closed. After Brainiac infects him, Lex's ideas grow even more complex. The file turns into a program, a model, a simulation. There are equations now, variables and parameters, and Lex juggles them easily in his mind.
He's close to a solution. It's there, shimmering like the sun behind a last milky curtain of ignorance.
When he breaks through the Source Wall and sheds his last boundaries, Lex finally knows for certain.
Hunger, illnesses, war, ignorance – they can all be defeated. Life without crime, without a need for heroes is possible.
The world can be saved.
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no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 02:27 pm (UTC)But with his head up above the clouds, with nothing but air under his feet and the stars within reach, Lex is afraid that he will betray himself before he betrays them. and The wonderful thing about plans involving time travel is that there's never any hurry implementing them. are just too awesome -and too Lex- to properly feedback.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 02:36 pm (UTC)PS: That icon is gorgeous.
Well, yeah. SV *is* a gorgeous show. Now if only it wasn't so heart-breakingly stupid most of the time...
no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 02:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 12:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 02:37 pm (UTC)I loved these so much and I was going to tell you so, how #1 made me cackle or how #2 tore at my heart with the last line or how #3 is ultimate Lex or #4 is just bad news...
But #5, that broke me, breaks me, that's...wow. Oh, wow. Perfect. Oh...
This is why we love Lex, in a 1000-word nutshell!
no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 12:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 02:39 pm (UTC)This one though: But with his head up above the clouds, with nothing but air under his feet and the stars within reach, Lex is afraid that he will betray himself before he betrays them.
made me coo. Oh, Lex honey, I love you badass but your good, woobie side never fails to get me every time! ^_-
no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 12:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 02:39 pm (UTC)#2 Dood, Lex fearing that he would make a good hero. Poor baby.
That list for #3 is made of awesome and Lex should implement some of them, I vote for gender switch and porn stars. XD
Eee~ #4 is scary, will he or won't he be able to kill baby Clark?
#5 Oh Lex~
no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 12:36 pm (UTC)Kill baby Clark? No! Lex wouldn't waste a resource like that. He'd pick him up and raise him lovingly to be his loyal minion, or he'd have him shipped to a secret lab, but he wouldn't kill him.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 08:25 pm (UTC)#1 - HAHAHA!! Superman and the Justice League as "the O.C." or Lex is ultimately responsible for Smallville - that explains soooooooo much.
#2 - I love that toon!Lex knows that he's got what it takes to be a hero, one of the best - but that's ultimately not what he wants, who he wants to be. I like that it's an informed choice.
I love that working with Superman makes him think he could be a hero, and I love that he still has such a terrible opinion of other people, even as he would be working to save them in his plan.
#3 - Besides, being human is not a punishment.
♥♥WORD!!♥♥
And so what Lex knows, and deeply believes.
#4 - The wonderful thing about plans involving time travel is that there's never any hurry implementing them.
Oh Lex - there are stories... HAHAHA! I love this, having the patience for time travel - heee.
#5 - Hunger, illnesses, war, ignorance – they can all be defeated. Life without crime, without a need for heroes is possible.
The world can be saved.
Because 1. ultimate-knowledge-minor-god!toonLex is hotter then the hottest thing and 2. I will always Love a Lex who is a hero, who saves the world, on his own terms - I think I love this number best of all
Thank you so much for doing this. I know that you needed the inspiration - but these all turned out so great, really great.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 12:39 pm (UTC)Someone truly evil must be behind the torture that is SV at times ;)
Because 1. ultimate-knowledge-minor-god!toonLex is hotter then the hottest thing
Indeed ;D
I had fun writing these, thanks!
no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 11:56 pm (UTC)But with his head up above the clouds, with nothing but air under his feet and the stars within reach, Lex is afraid that he will betray himself before he betrays them.
and
Hunger, illnesses, war, ignorance – they can all be defeated. Life without crime, without a need for heroes is possible.
The world can be saved.
Oh, oh Lex so egotistical and wonderful and capable of *so* much.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 12:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 03:30 am (UTC)Is it okay if I friend you, well, if you don't mind of course? I love your work!
no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 12:44 pm (UTC)Thanks for your feedback!
no subject
Date: 2007-04-27 02:00 am (UTC)These ones are for keeps!
Date: 2007-04-26 04:05 am (UTC)I need to make a toon!Lex "PWN!" icon with hearts drawn around him.
But first:
1. I think I laughed for a full minute there.
2. The reason I love this plan so much because Lex is afraid to do it. It's something I'd think of for Lex to do too, since I always like getting him in a position for important realizations about the long-term value of teamwork. (And toon!Lex is a bit of a woobie in his own way. *hugs*)
3. *At awe of Lex's genius even when high and bored.* I love the de-evolution poison. The "porn stars" option made me think of certain SV fanvids... *coughs* Maybe we could consider the JLU fanvids as RPS vids in their verse... *thinks about this too much* Then the ending caught me full on the face. (Besides, being human is not a punishment.) The reality of it... just... God... that hurt... and I bet my laptop that he was thinking of Superman.
4. Eeeee, so many possibilities with this one!
5. Source!Lex OMG! OMG OMG OMG! I was certain that one of them would be a world-saving plan, but you took it totally beyond what I imagined!
Thank you SO MUCH for this. *squees and glomps you and runs away*
Re: These ones are for keeps!
Date: 2007-04-26 12:55 pm (UTC)Can I share that one, plz? I need something to express my mad love for toon!Lex. Only little drawn hearts will suffice ;P
no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 10:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-01 04:06 pm (UTC)#2 //But with his head up above the clouds, with nothing but air under his feet and the stars within reach, Lex is afraid that he will betray himself before he betrays them. //
good thing, lex is always aware of his own limitations of what he is capable of and what not *g*
#3 //Maybe he had the same line of thought then, because the next entry is, "mindless slaves". From there it progresses to "mindless sex slaves" and "porn stars". //
I would totally support this plan!!!!!!!
#4 //The wonderful thing about plans involving time travel is that there's never any hurry implementing them.//
yep, that's our Lex, always his priorities in order :)
#5 uhh, wow, the last one was hot and scary at the same time!!! god!lex!!!!!!!
totally minions him!!!!
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 02:16 pm (UTC)totally minions him!!!!
Heh. Yeah, it is a bit of a scary thought.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 03:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 02:18 pm (UTC):D The ends *do* justify the means for Lex. Thanks for commenting!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-08 06:32 pm (UTC)Best last line ever. Though I am inclined to disagree.
I vote for Porn Stars. On the other hand, picturing Bruce as a woman. //glee//
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 06:42 pm (UTC)I hope you don´t mind if I friend you, by the way.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-01 05:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-01 01:38 pm (UTC)