cool kids and me, now with 100% more lesbians

Yesterday was a day where way too much happened (two presentations in a row: enough to make anyone a little hyper. But I did well, despite barely being prepared.) Among them was a meeting of the exchange students going to England this fall, and I went for a cup of coffee with one of the girls who also goes to Durham, although to the German department. I sort of stick out in that group because I snatched away the "good" spot at the English department. It turned out, however, that the exchange coordinator's "You should apply to Oxford or Cambridge" wasn't a joke, because another girl did and she got into Cambridge. (Of course I'm a little envious now, but only a little, since I didn't try.) I know her, and she's the most extroverted and unconventional person I've EVER known, so I'm not surprised (I'm at once massively intimidated by her and find her really amusing.)

Anyway, E., the girl I had a coffee with is her best friend. As it turned out, she's also friends with one of my presentation partners. I asked, "How do you know each other?" and she told me that they're both sort of lesbian activists and organizing queer parties and stuff. It was a real duh moment, because my first impression of my presentation partner was "This girl looks like the butchest butch I've ever met" and then I promptly scolded myself for stereotyping. But since I'm a massive dork and sometimes don't quite know how to filter information, I told E. that I picked this presentation because I instantly liked butch-girl, which she probably translated as, "OMG, I have a crush on your best friend". In any case, I got handed a flyer for one of their parties and I will go at least once.

But for some reason, instead of causing me joy, it's causing anxiety. I was never bullied in school, but I always remained something of an outsider. I really wanted to be part of the "in-crowd", but that stopped around 17-18, when I found my own circle of close friends (mostly geeks and roleplayers) I was comfortable with. Now these people are exactly the kind of people I admired in school (even though they're all younger than me) and desperately wanted to be friends with. They're popular, political individualists, they're good in school without being nerds, they're fashionable in an indie/alternative way. In order to make friends with them, I'd have to get over my own inferiority complexes.

cool kids and me, now with 100% more lesbians

Yesterday was a day where way too much happened (two presentations in a row: enough to make anyone a little hyper. But I did well, despite barely being prepared.) Among them was a meeting of the exchange students going to England this fall, and I went for a cup of coffee with one of the girls who also goes to Durham, although to the German department. I sort of stick out in that group because I snatched away the "good" spot at the English department. It turned out, however, that the exchange coordinator's "You should apply to Oxford or Cambridge" wasn't a joke, because another girl did and she got into Cambridge. (Of course I'm a little envious now, but only a little, since I didn't try.) I know her, and she's the most extroverted and unconventional person I've EVER known, so I'm not surprised (I'm at once massively intimidated by her and find her really amusing.)

Anyway, E., the girl I had a coffee with is her best friend. As it turned out, she's also friends with one of my presentation partners. I asked, "How do you know each other?" and she told me that they're both sort of lesbian activists and organizing queer parties and stuff. It was a real duh moment, because my first impression of my presentation partner was "This girl looks like the butchest butch I've ever met" and then I promptly scolded myself for stereotyping. But since I'm a massive dork and sometimes don't quite know how to filter information, I told E. that I picked this presentation because I instantly liked butch-girl, which she probably translated as, "OMG, I have a crush on your best friend". In any case, I got handed a flyer for one of their parties and I will go at least once.

But for some reason, instead of causing me joy, it's causing anxiety. I was never bullied in school, but I always remained something of an outsider. I really wanted to be part of the "in-crowd", but that stopped around 17-18, when I found my own circle of close friends (mostly geeks and roleplayers) I was comfortable with. Now these people are exactly the kind of people I admired in school (even though they're all younger than me) and desperately wanted to be friends with. They're popular, political individualists, they're good in school without being nerds, they're fashionable in an indie/alternative way. In order to make friends with them, I'd have to get over my own inferiority complexes.