Gay rights thingie

There's that gay rights meme going around and criticism of it as well. I haven't got anything innovative to say, I agree with most of the criticism and I'm pro gay rights. Unlike many other political or social issues, this is one where there's no doubt or uncertainty for me.

I do have a relevant story, though, because yesterday, I came out to my grandma. (And I'm not really out to my parents or friends, so that's quite something.)

We were in hospital together, visting my grandpa and talked about lots of stuff while waiting for him to get back from some tests. Now, this grandma was a substitute Mom for me for a lot of my childhood when my parents were divorced and I lived with my Dad. I love her and trust her and I respect her opinions on many topics, although they're often a bit dated.

She told me of this friend of my cousin's who's gay. "But he's a really nice person and so good with children..." etc., she said - the usual bunch of cliches, but not that bad. I thought, okay, it's cool she's that liberal (but then, she votes for the Green party). Then she went on telling me about gay people she knew when she was younger (in the sixties, so quite a different situation). It's some of the most fascinating stuff she's ever told me. Then she told me how she and a friend of hers went to a gay/lesbian bar a couple of times, just because they were curious.

That gave me pause. Wait, I thought. Are you trying to tell me something? Are you trying to make me tell you something?

But, she said, in that bar, I never went to the restroom. (I thought, wow, that kind of bar?) Because, she said, the men were alright, but the women would touch me and give me looks and I couldn't have that. (She was quite attractive in the day, I think.)

So, I asked, you have no problem with gay men, but you don't like lesbians?

Well, she said, I suppose I could be friends with "such a person" if she wasn't attracted to me, but I think a woman should be with a man.

This startled me because it was such a very unexpected opinion from her that I blurted out, "I don't really care whether it's a girl or a guy."

She stared. I said, "Um. Sorry if I shocked you now." We only talked a little more about it, but it wasn't awkward and she seemed to deal with it pretty well.

You see, this is exactly the kind of conversation I've waited for to come out. I'd feel stupid making a big announcement of it. It isn't something earth-shattering for me, and I'd like it not to be that for others. Nevertheless, I related the same story to some friends of mine later that evening.

I always sort of thought they guessed I was bi, but it turns out they were like "What, really?" But they were mighty cool about it. I'm proud of you, friends and family!

Gay rights thingie

There's that gay rights meme going around and criticism of it as well. I haven't got anything innovative to say, I agree with most of the criticism and I'm pro gay rights. Unlike many other political or social issues, this is one where there's no doubt or uncertainty for me.

I do have a relevant story, though, because yesterday, I came out to my grandma. (And I'm not really out to my parents or friends, so that's quite something.)

We were in hospital together, visting my grandpa and talked about lots of stuff while waiting for him to get back from some tests. Now, this grandma was a substitute Mom for me for a lot of my childhood when my parents were divorced and I lived with my Dad. I love her and trust her and I respect her opinions on many topics, although they're often a bit dated.

She told me of this friend of my cousin's who's gay. "But he's a really nice person and so good with children..." etc., she said - the usual bunch of cliches, but not that bad. I thought, okay, it's cool she's that liberal (but then, she votes for the Green party). Then she went on telling me about gay people she knew when she was younger (in the sixties, so quite a different situation). It's some of the most fascinating stuff she's ever told me. Then she told me how she and a friend of hers went to a gay/lesbian bar a couple of times, just because they were curious.

That gave me pause. Wait, I thought. Are you trying to tell me something? Are you trying to make me tell you something?

But, she said, in that bar, I never went to the restroom. (I thought, wow, that kind of bar?) Because, she said, the men were alright, but the women would touch me and give me looks and I couldn't have that. (She was quite attractive in the day, I think.)

So, I asked, you have no problem with gay men, but you don't like lesbians?

Well, she said, I suppose I could be friends with "such a person" if she wasn't attracted to me, but I think a woman should be with a man.

This startled me because it was such a very unexpected opinion from her that I blurted out, "I don't really care whether it's a girl or a guy."

She stared. I said, "Um. Sorry if I shocked you now." We only talked a little more about it, but it wasn't awkward and she seemed to deal with it pretty well.

You see, this is exactly the kind of conversation I've waited for to come out. I'd feel stupid making a big announcement of it. It isn't something earth-shattering for me, and I'd like it not to be that for others. Nevertheless, I related the same story to some friends of mine later that evening.

I always sort of thought they guessed I was bi, but it turns out they were like "What, really?" But they were mighty cool about it. I'm proud of you, friends and family!