bagheera_san: (sun)
For weeks now I've had this feelings that my life is suddenly crammed with... I don't quite know how to phrase it, but social stuff - friends, emotional decisions, social life in general, all the "real life" stuff I used to not have that much of. Fandom has always been a bit of a compensation for this lack (even though it was in some ways a lack I chose by not being a very outgoing/social person) but in some ways now it feels like all this real life is intruding on my creative/academic pursuits.

This week I (and I know I'm going to regret this one way or another) agreed to go on another holiday with my gran because she's sad and not growing younger and has lost two children in two years, and a holiday in Uzbekistan sounded tempting but now I think WHAT WERE YOU THINKING because Uzbekistan with my 80 year old grandmother? It sounds like a recipe for disaster (or a quirky roadmovie, but I DOUBT IT.)

I also told the friend who fell in love with me that I don't return his feelings and don't want to go out with him, and he told me he's never had a girlfriend and has never fallen this hard in love with anyone and is deep in depression and although this sounds a lot like emotional blackmail I don't think it's intended as such - I just tend to attract sad people like cake attracts fat kids. I'm glad though that I said no to him because we'd also be a recipe for disaster.

I met E., my Durham friend at the English department and we said we'd meet for coffee the next day and she didn't show up and didn't give any kind of a lifesign - best case, she forgot, worst case I've been dissed, but truth be told? With everything else I hardly care.

My mother has been told her spine isn't going to last with her current job (geriatric nurse) and she needs to take pain medication on top of her psych meds, so she's looking for a new job AGAIN and I just feel sad and angry when I think about how some jobs just use people up and still there are bastards out there who say that people who don't take any job they're offered are lazy and whatnot.

On the up side, Thomas, the oldest member of my RP group, who has been chronically unemployed for many years finally has a job again that's quite good (good things happening to him always cheer me up because his life is like my worst case scenario), and the pair of friends who broke up are doing better now (not back together, just better) and the weather has been fine - so fine that possibly I have a bit of sunburn/sun allergy, and a sore throat from cycling without a jacket or scarf for the last couple of days.
bagheera_san: (sun)
For weeks now I've had this feelings that my life is suddenly crammed with... I don't quite know how to phrase it, but social stuff - friends, emotional decisions, social life in general, all the "real life" stuff I used to not have that much of. Fandom has always been a bit of a compensation for this lack (even though it was in some ways a lack I chose by not being a very outgoing/social person) but in some ways now it feels like all this real life is intruding on my creative/academic pursuits.

This week I (and I know I'm going to regret this one way or another) agreed to go on another holiday with my gran because she's sad and not growing younger and has lost two children in two years, and a holiday in Uzbekistan sounded tempting but now I think WHAT WERE YOU THINKING because Uzbekistan with my 80 year old grandmother? It sounds like a recipe for disaster (or a quirky roadmovie, but I DOUBT IT.)

I also told the friend who fell in love with me that I don't return his feelings and don't want to go out with him, and he told me he's never had a girlfriend and has never fallen this hard in love with anyone and is deep in depression and although this sounds a lot like emotional blackmail I don't think it's intended as such - I just tend to attract sad people like cake attracts fat kids. I'm glad though that I said no to him because we'd also be a recipe for disaster.

I met E., my Durham friend at the English department and we said we'd meet for coffee the next day and she didn't show up and didn't give any kind of a lifesign - best case, she forgot, worst case I've been dissed, but truth be told? With everything else I hardly care.

My mother has been told her spine isn't going to last with her current job (geriatric nurse) and she needs to take pain medication on top of her psych meds, so she's looking for a new job AGAIN and I just feel sad and angry when I think about how some jobs just use people up and still there are bastards out there who say that people who don't take any job they're offered are lazy and whatnot.

On the up side, Thomas, the oldest member of my RP group, who has been chronically unemployed for many years finally has a job again that's quite good (good things happening to him always cheer me up because his life is like my worst case scenario), and the pair of friends who broke up are doing better now (not back together, just better) and the weather has been fine - so fine that possibly I have a bit of sunburn/sun allergy, and a sore throat from cycling without a jacket or scarf for the last couple of days.

birthday

Feb. 15th, 2012 12:16 pm
bagheera_san: (sun)
So for years now I've hated my birthday because it either led to drama or I didn't celebrate it properly. This year finally broke that spell! I had a great party on Saturday (and Sunday morning... I got to sleep around 9 am for two and a half hours) and my guests looked like they had fun and those who didn't know each other got on really well. Most of my friends are hardcore nerds who look and act like hardcore nerds, but I also invited my co-workers and some other fairly normal people and one of my concerns was that they'd be unable to bridge that social gap, but no. Well done, friends!

I also got some lovely gifts: a board/card game, a collection of truly hilarious German comics from the Eighties (called "Axel, the sorcerer of Bonn" / "Axel, der Hexer von Bonn" and they're like Hellblazer if John Constantine was a German yuppie student from the Eighties), a sheepskin (which is fuzzy and soft and I only feel a little bit sad about the poor sheep) and a lovely card and a shirt that says "High Council of the Time Lords" from [livejournal.com profile] x_los and [livejournal.com profile] aralias - I don't know what's more awesome, the fact that I now own a Gallifrey shirt or that you guys sent me a present from England <3

I guess this'll be a good year :)

birthday

Feb. 15th, 2012 12:16 pm
bagheera_san: (sun)
So for years now I've hated my birthday because it either led to drama or I didn't celebrate it properly. This year finally broke that spell! I had a great party on Saturday (and Sunday morning... I got to sleep around 9 am for two and a half hours) and my guests looked like they had fun and those who didn't know each other got on really well. Most of my friends are hardcore nerds who look and act like hardcore nerds, but I also invited my co-workers and some other fairly normal people and one of my concerns was that they'd be unable to bridge that social gap, but no. Well done, friends!

I also got some lovely gifts: a board/card game, a collection of truly hilarious German comics from the Eighties (called "Axel, the sorcerer of Bonn" / "Axel, der Hexer von Bonn" and they're like Hellblazer if John Constantine was a German yuppie student from the Eighties), a sheepskin (which is fuzzy and soft and I only feel a little bit sad about the poor sheep) and a lovely card and a shirt that says "High Council of the Time Lords" from [livejournal.com profile] x_los and [livejournal.com profile] aralias - I don't know what's more awesome, the fact that I now own a Gallifrey shirt or that you guys sent me a present from England <3

I guess this'll be a good year :)
bagheera_san: (watchtower)
Happy New Year to those of you for whom it is a new year :)

We had a little rather traditional party with food and fireworks and (in the very end) a terrible drinking game where you have to drink every time someone says "Forrest" in "Forrest Gump". We really need to think of cooler things to do next year.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows is a good movie, even though it's full of EPIC FAIL where continental European landscapes are concerned. Germany and Switzerland look nothing like that. more spoilery thoughts )

Finally, obligatory yuletide reveal: I wrote a little "Once Upon a Time" fic with Emma and Mr Gold called, The Language of Gifts is the Language of Deals.
bagheera_san: (watchtower)
Happy New Year to those of you for whom it is a new year :)

We had a little rather traditional party with food and fireworks and (in the very end) a terrible drinking game where you have to drink every time someone says "Forrest" in "Forrest Gump". We really need to think of cooler things to do next year.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows is a good movie, even though it's full of EPIC FAIL where continental European landscapes are concerned. Germany and Switzerland look nothing like that. more spoilery thoughts )

Finally, obligatory yuletide reveal: I wrote a little "Once Upon a Time" fic with Emma and Mr Gold called, The Language of Gifts is the Language of Deals.
bagheera_san: (tiger woman)
Week two of teacher internship is over. Taught my first German lesson (on narrators and text interpretation at nearly A-Level level) and it went well. I have no problem whatsoever teaching older pupils (about 17-18), in fact, I enjoy it. My one problem is that I can't stop myself from smiling or laughing when they do silly stuff, so I undermine my own authority.

Next week I have to teach three lessons and I can already tell that nothing eats time like lesson preparation. Also, who the hell thinks its a good idea to teach grammar to adult native speakers who don't plan on a career in writing?

*

Yesterday's Who episode was mostly cute, but not as good as the last two. Matt Smith and Matt Smith's Wonderful Coat were awesome, however. Seriously, that coat deserves a BAFTA.

spoilers )
bagheera_san: (tiger woman)
Week two of teacher internship is over. Taught my first German lesson (on narrators and text interpretation at nearly A-Level level) and it went well. I have no problem whatsoever teaching older pupils (about 17-18), in fact, I enjoy it. My one problem is that I can't stop myself from smiling or laughing when they do silly stuff, so I undermine my own authority.

Next week I have to teach three lessons and I can already tell that nothing eats time like lesson preparation. Also, who the hell thinks its a good idea to teach grammar to adult native speakers who don't plan on a career in writing?

*

Yesterday's Who episode was mostly cute, but not as good as the last two. Matt Smith and Matt Smith's Wonderful Coat were awesome, however. Seriously, that coat deserves a BAFTA.

spoilers )

writing

Sep. 18th, 2011 02:45 pm
bagheera_san: (flower on book)
Met up with BFF for our usual sleep-over/movie night and some time during out True Blood watching she said, "Writer for a TV series would be a really cool job!" and one thing lead to another and I showed her the [livejournal.com profile] shalkastories audio project I'm working on. BFF is not a DW person, but she knows fanfic, and was quite impressed with us, particularly the part where we're going to have voice acting and FX and directors and stuff.

*

Then I had lunch at my grandma's place today, and since she's a person who reads A LOT but has zero higher education, I asked her what she thinks about narrators.

Grandma: When a book has an I-narrator, I can imagine him very well and I believe that he knows what he's talking about, but when there's only a "he" and no "I" it's as if the narrator has heard about this story from someone else and it's not as true.

Quite logical from an oral perspective, but really strange and fascinating for me - I can hardly even imagine how a person who doesn't have at least a basic literary education or experience as a writer reads.

writing

Sep. 18th, 2011 02:45 pm
bagheera_san: (flower on book)
Met up with BFF for our usual sleep-over/movie night and some time during out True Blood watching she said, "Writer for a TV series would be a really cool job!" and one thing lead to another and I showed her the [livejournal.com profile] shalkastories audio project I'm working on. BFF is not a DW person, but she knows fanfic, and was quite impressed with us, particularly the part where we're going to have voice acting and FX and directors and stuff.

*

Then I had lunch at my grandma's place today, and since she's a person who reads A LOT but has zero higher education, I asked her what she thinks about narrators.

Grandma: When a book has an I-narrator, I can imagine him very well and I believe that he knows what he's talking about, but when there's only a "he" and no "I" it's as if the narrator has heard about this story from someone else and it's not as true.

Quite logical from an oral perspective, but really strange and fascinating for me - I can hardly even imagine how a person who doesn't have at least a basic literary education or experience as a writer reads.
bagheera_san: (Ten - traveller)
Warning: do not click cut if you only want to squee.

Spoilers for Day of the Moon )

Also, I'm back home. Yesterday was great - much as I like Durham, if I could choose again, I would pick London for my year abroad. It would have been more expensive, but I could have afforded it with my scholarship and ERASMUS grant, and [livejournal.com profile] x_los has found a really nice room/house, which is not at all like what I thought cheap London accomodation would be like. But mostly because London is London. The facet of it I saw this time was completely different from the last times, and convinced me that not only is London awesome, it's also a city you might want to live in.
bagheera_san: (Ten - traveller)
Warning: do not click cut if you only want to squee.

Spoilers for Day of the Moon )

Also, I'm back home. Yesterday was great - much as I like Durham, if I could choose again, I would pick London for my year abroad. It would have been more expensive, but I could have afforded it with my scholarship and ERASMUS grant, and [livejournal.com profile] x_los has found a really nice room/house, which is not at all like what I thought cheap London accomodation would be like. But mostly because London is London. The facet of it I saw this time was completely different from the last times, and convinced me that not only is London awesome, it's also a city you might want to live in.

Wow

Apr. 10th, 2009 12:40 pm
bagheera_san: (flower on book)
For years, I've wondered if maybe I should apply for a scholarship, but I always decided that I probably wouldn't qualify (my grades are good enough, but usually, they want more than just good grades...). This morning, my mother woke me up by tossing a pile of mail into my bed and one of the letters I opened was from the major scholarship association in Germany, telling me that someone had suggested me for a scholarship. I guess luck isn't just for fools, children and drunks, but also for the excessively lazy :D

Of course this means that I'll have to do paperwork, and show up for a personal meeting with them and explain why I'm so awesome that I deserve to be given money and cool stuff. So far, I've come up with:
- I have good grades and am a fairly fast student
- I'm working as a TA
- I'm from a socially weak background (father has been unemployed for more than a decade, mother is staying at home caring for my grandmother with Alzheimer's, nobody in my family has a completed degree or college education of any kind)
- I'm a member of Amnesty International (lookit! I'm all social!)
- I have cool extracurricular interests that are not geeky at all, like roleplaying and creative writing...

Um, yeah, I guess that last one needs polishing. And I need to do more courses, 8 hours per week probably doesn't cut it.

Wow

Apr. 10th, 2009 12:40 pm
bagheera_san: (flower on book)
For years, I've wondered if maybe I should apply for a scholarship, but I always decided that I probably wouldn't qualify (my grades are good enough, but usually, they want more than just good grades...). This morning, my mother woke me up by tossing a pile of mail into my bed and one of the letters I opened was from the major scholarship association in Germany, telling me that someone had suggested me for a scholarship. I guess luck isn't just for fools, children and drunks, but also for the excessively lazy :D

Of course this means that I'll have to do paperwork, and show up for a personal meeting with them and explain why I'm so awesome that I deserve to be given money and cool stuff. So far, I've come up with:
- I have good grades and am a fairly fast student
- I'm working as a TA
- I'm from a socially weak background (father has been unemployed for more than a decade, mother is staying at home caring for my grandmother with Alzheimer's, nobody in my family has a completed degree or college education of any kind)
- I'm a member of Amnesty International (lookit! I'm all social!)
- I have cool extracurricular interests that are not geeky at all, like roleplaying and creative writing...

Um, yeah, I guess that last one needs polishing. And I need to do more courses, 8 hours per week probably doesn't cut it.

This week

Sep. 5th, 2008 09:10 pm
bagheera_san: (The Batman)
Yesterday night was spent in Karlsruhe. I went to see The Dark Knight with a couple of friends. As an extra surprise, one of them baked little bat-symbol baked biscuits and cookies. Edible batarangs!

TDK is indeed very good, though almost more on an intellectual than an emotional level. So much plot! There was much squee for a comics fan there, lovely continuity moments. Both Harvey and the Joker were brilliant, and while I love Two-Face, I'm usually indifferent about the Joker. I thought the movie was a little too heavy on the Bruce Wayne = James Bond with a weird costume.

On Tuesday, I got a job! It's 35 hours per month, at the English department. Job description would be "personal slave to professor" or "girl for everything" :D

And on Wednesday, I did sport (a friend dragged me there). Like, actual sport, in a gym, with an instructor. Haven't done that since highschool. Uni sport, some kind of aerobics jumping-around-to-music stuff. I hit my limits, but it didn't go past them and I didn't flop down on the floor in a heap of "Oh! I faint!" which is great. I usually hate sport, but no grades and no pressure makes it a lot more fun.

This week

Sep. 5th, 2008 09:10 pm
bagheera_san: (The Batman)
Yesterday night was spent in Karlsruhe. I went to see The Dark Knight with a couple of friends. As an extra surprise, one of them baked little bat-symbol baked biscuits and cookies. Edible batarangs!

TDK is indeed very good, though almost more on an intellectual than an emotional level. So much plot! There was much squee for a comics fan there, lovely continuity moments. Both Harvey and the Joker were brilliant, and while I love Two-Face, I'm usually indifferent about the Joker. I thought the movie was a little too heavy on the Bruce Wayne = James Bond with a weird costume.

On Tuesday, I got a job! It's 35 hours per month, at the English department. Job description would be "personal slave to professor" or "girl for everything" :D

And on Wednesday, I did sport (a friend dragged me there). Like, actual sport, in a gym, with an instructor. Haven't done that since highschool. Uni sport, some kind of aerobics jumping-around-to-music stuff. I hit my limits, but it didn't go past them and I didn't flop down on the floor in a heap of "Oh! I faint!" which is great. I usually hate sport, but no grades and no pressure makes it a lot more fun.

:D

Jun. 6th, 2008 03:19 pm
bagheera_san: (Sixth Doctor)
Audio novels are the work of the devil. They enable me to get lost in worlds of imagination even while WALKING AROUND OUTSIDE and thus cause me to APPEAR LIKE A TOTAL LOON in public.

Earplugs in, press on, walk around, listen. Cue sudden outbursts of laughter for no discernible reason, and equally unprovoked sadface in other places. People start looking at you strangely in the bus (or a doctor's waiting room, for that matter.)

Listened to:

Zagreus: TARDIS/Doctor OTP. Or even better, Rassilon/TARDIS/Doctor.

The Apocalypse Element: People apparently really like Evelyn. I don't get why, to be honest. Her snark is so overdone! She never stops. Poor, poor Romana, though. I now have a completely different idea of her as Time War!President fighting the Daleks. It's personal.

The Time of the Daleks: LOL wut. "Shakespeare will be ex-ter-mi-nated!" This plot is so ridiculous that it could have been hatched by the Master. Magna Charta, I'm just saying. But Shakespeare quoting Daleks are... wonderful.

Master: Seven is a surprisingly good audio Doctor, and Geoffrey Beevers as the Master was nice. The story wasn't bad either. But I don't buy it. I don't buy this backstory, and I don't buy "love will save you". What I buy is that Seven (or the Doctor in general) would do something so ultimately pointless and cruel to the Master out of good intentions. Oh, and the Dostoevsky quoting caused some of the lulz that made me seem like a loon.

*

In other news, someone treated me to a coffee (after inciting me to skip the boring part of Creative Writing) yesterday. Only, he's about 40 and a lecturer. And terribly funny, and he likes my original writing. And I haven't got a hard time talking to him! Oh dear :D

:D

Jun. 6th, 2008 03:19 pm
bagheera_san: (Sixth Doctor)
Audio novels are the work of the devil. They enable me to get lost in worlds of imagination even while WALKING AROUND OUTSIDE and thus cause me to APPEAR LIKE A TOTAL LOON in public.

Earplugs in, press on, walk around, listen. Cue sudden outbursts of laughter for no discernible reason, and equally unprovoked sadface in other places. People start looking at you strangely in the bus (or a doctor's waiting room, for that matter.)

Listened to:

Zagreus: TARDIS/Doctor OTP. Or even better, Rassilon/TARDIS/Doctor.

The Apocalypse Element: People apparently really like Evelyn. I don't get why, to be honest. Her snark is so overdone! She never stops. Poor, poor Romana, though. I now have a completely different idea of her as Time War!President fighting the Daleks. It's personal.

The Time of the Daleks: LOL wut. "Shakespeare will be ex-ter-mi-nated!" This plot is so ridiculous that it could have been hatched by the Master. Magna Charta, I'm just saying. But Shakespeare quoting Daleks are... wonderful.

Master: Seven is a surprisingly good audio Doctor, and Geoffrey Beevers as the Master was nice. The story wasn't bad either. But I don't buy it. I don't buy this backstory, and I don't buy "love will save you". What I buy is that Seven (or the Doctor in general) would do something so ultimately pointless and cruel to the Master out of good intentions. Oh, and the Dostoevsky quoting caused some of the lulz that made me seem like a loon.

*

In other news, someone treated me to a coffee (after inciting me to skip the boring part of Creative Writing) yesterday. Only, he's about 40 and a lecturer. And terribly funny, and he likes my original writing. And I haven't got a hard time talking to him! Oh dear :D

Uni stuff

May. 6th, 2008 01:43 pm
bagheera_san: (flower on book)
Did my first presentation for this semester (High German Consonant shift - enormously boring) and it went very well despite my almost complete lack of preparation. Also, it was a partner work effort, but the girl I worked with luckily is a good acquaintance and very efficient, so my usual horror of partner/group work was not confirmed.

*

And just now I sat in on an "open workshop" on Posthumanism (with the writers and publishers of a series of books about Critical Posthumanism), which was awesome. Academia at work! And I even asked a question which doesn't seem to have been stupid or off-topic, because it sparked a lively discussion among them and whether the life sciences and the humanities can/should communicate on such issues as Cyborgization. (It was all, "The scientist get more funding! They hate us! They don't reflect on their work at all!" self pity but then it got better.) And then there was much LULZ because of course Cultural Studies writers can't go for an hour without citing Buffy. (There's, like, a robot! It's totally posthumanist!) And the profound statement that "Japan is a *particular* country." Yes, it seems to be.

Uni stuff

May. 6th, 2008 01:43 pm
bagheera_san: (flower on book)
Did my first presentation for this semester (High German Consonant shift - enormously boring) and it went very well despite my almost complete lack of preparation. Also, it was a partner work effort, but the girl I worked with luckily is a good acquaintance and very efficient, so my usual horror of partner/group work was not confirmed.

*

And just now I sat in on an "open workshop" on Posthumanism (with the writers and publishers of a series of books about Critical Posthumanism), which was awesome. Academia at work! And I even asked a question which doesn't seem to have been stupid or off-topic, because it sparked a lively discussion among them and whether the life sciences and the humanities can/should communicate on such issues as Cyborgization. (It was all, "The scientist get more funding! They hate us! They don't reflect on their work at all!" self pity but then it got better.) And then there was much LULZ because of course Cultural Studies writers can't go for an hour without citing Buffy. (There's, like, a robot! It's totally posthumanist!) And the profound statement that "Japan is a *particular* country." Yes, it seems to be.

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