bagheera_san: (branded!Lex)
I didn't intend to write a sequel to Except Batman, possibly, that one time, but that's how it goes. This one is probably less funny, but on the other hand it has threesomes and Stargates and Lex in a dress.

Title: Cops and Robbers - Ten Easy Steps
Rating: R, swearing and slash
Fandom: Smallville/DC/Stargate : Atlantis
Pairing: Clex, hints at permutations of Clexana, Lex/Kara, Clark/Lex/Bruce, InsectQueen!Lana/female alien
Genre: still crack
Prompts: [livejournal.com profile] medea_aries asked for Lex and dancing and possibly glittered up. [livejournal.com profile] xparrot wanted Lex meeting Rodney. I doubt either of you wanted this.

4746 words )
bagheera_san: (branded!Lex)
I didn't intend to write a sequel to Except Batman, possibly, that one time, but that's how it goes. This one is probably less funny, but on the other hand it has threesomes and Stargates and Lex in a dress.

Title: Cops and Robbers - Ten Easy Steps
Rating: R, swearing and slash
Fandom: Smallville/DC/Stargate : Atlantis
Pairing: Clex, hints at permutations of Clexana, Lex/Kara, Clark/Lex/Bruce, InsectQueen!Lana/female alien
Genre: still crack
Prompts: [livejournal.com profile] medea_aries asked for Lex and dancing and possibly glittered up. [livejournal.com profile] xparrot wanted Lex meeting Rodney. I doubt either of you wanted this.

4746 words )
bagheera_san: (kinky)
Here comes the second installment of Lex scans for the holidays (btw, is there a muslim equivalent of Christmas, or a different holiday celebrated around that time? Or is it just Christmas and Hanukah?), and for [livejournal.com profile] attaccabottoni in particular.

This time, there are scans from Young Justice and Superman/Batman, with pre-President Lex and President Lex.

Lex wants YOU! )
bagheera_san: (kinky)
Here comes the second installment of Lex scans for the holidays (btw, is there a muslim equivalent of Christmas, or a different holiday celebrated around that time? Or is it just Christmas and Hanukah?), and for [livejournal.com profile] attaccabottoni in particular.

This time, there are scans from Young Justice and Superman/Batman, with pre-President Lex and President Lex.

Lex wants YOU! )
bagheera_san: (Bat-Kiss)
Phone call. Friend S. (female): Help me out! We're having a dispute.
Me: Okay?
S.: Is it true that F. (my female BFF) groped your boobies while she was drunk? She claims it isn't but my boyfriend says it is!
Me: It's a matter of definition, I guess.
S.: Well, was her whole hand on your chest?
Me: No, I mean, I was willing and we were playing a game. Is that groping? You know, with the sex dice. I'm not sure she was drunk, either. You were there!
S.: Okay! I'll tell him so.

I love these people :D

*

In one of my lessons today I gave a boy (fifteen years old) a quiz. He ticked:
THE SUN REVOLVES AROUND THE EARTH
as right.

We're doomed!!! These children will rule the Earth, and it will be the Middle Ages again. Copernicus who? Which is not a good thing, because I'm translating an epic from the Middle Ages right now. The plot so far:

King: Oh noes. I'm dying. Quick, boy, listen. Take care of your sister. Always be loyal to her. Ah, how I wish I had married her off to someone while there still was time...
Prince: Okay!
King: *dies*
Prince&Princess: *live happily*
Devil: Hey, Prince, how about sleeping with your sis?
Prince: *rapes sister*
Author: (cited as closely as possible)"That may have been to much loyalty."
Prince&Princess: Yay, incest.
Princess: Oh noes, I'm pregnant. Whatever shall we do?
Prince: *weeps uselessly*
Princess: Stop crying like a woman! It's useless!
Prince: ... right, woman! Stop your weeping! I have a cunning plan.

And then they put the baby in a box and the box on a boat and then it comes back one day and marries his mother. Double incest!

And then the baby becomes Pope. I kid you not.
bagheera_san: (Bat-Kiss)
Phone call. Friend S. (female): Help me out! We're having a dispute.
Me: Okay?
S.: Is it true that F. (my female BFF) groped your boobies while she was drunk? She claims it isn't but my boyfriend says it is!
Me: It's a matter of definition, I guess.
S.: Well, was her whole hand on your chest?
Me: No, I mean, I was willing and we were playing a game. Is that groping? You know, with the sex dice. I'm not sure she was drunk, either. You were there!
S.: Okay! I'll tell him so.

I love these people :D

*

In one of my lessons today I gave a boy (fifteen years old) a quiz. He ticked:
THE SUN REVOLVES AROUND THE EARTH
as right.

We're doomed!!! These children will rule the Earth, and it will be the Middle Ages again. Copernicus who? Which is not a good thing, because I'm translating an epic from the Middle Ages right now. The plot so far:

King: Oh noes. I'm dying. Quick, boy, listen. Take care of your sister. Always be loyal to her. Ah, how I wish I had married her off to someone while there still was time...
Prince: Okay!
King: *dies*
Prince&Princess: *live happily*
Devil: Hey, Prince, how about sleeping with your sis?
Prince: *rapes sister*
Author: (cited as closely as possible)"That may have been to much loyalty."
Prince&Princess: Yay, incest.
Princess: Oh noes, I'm pregnant. Whatever shall we do?
Prince: *weeps uselessly*
Princess: Stop crying like a woman! It's useless!
Prince: ... right, woman! Stop your weeping! I have a cunning plan.

And then they put the baby in a box and the box on a boat and then it comes back one day and marries his mother. Double incest!

And then the baby becomes Pope. I kid you not.
bagheera_san: (kinky)
So far, all my episode codas have been serious. This really isn't (except perhaps for the final sentence. Which is a bad way to end crack-fic.)

It was inspired by something [livejournal.com profile] norwich36 said about Ben. (Is that his name? I had to google it.) There are a few comics in-jokes in there, and quite a few clichés about fans.

Title: Being Devilicus
Rating: PG
Characters: Lex, Ben the Fan, Clark, Clex if you're inclined to see it
Spoilers: Coda to "Action", but it barely contains spoilers. Set some weeks after the episode.
Summary: Lex and Ben fanwank themselves into being Clark's archenemy. There can be only one. 1969 words )
bagheera_san: (kinky)
So far, all my episode codas have been serious. This really isn't (except perhaps for the final sentence. Which is a bad way to end crack-fic.)

It was inspired by something [livejournal.com profile] norwich36 said about Ben. (Is that his name? I had to google it.) There are a few comics in-jokes in there, and quite a few clichés about fans.

Title: Being Devilicus
Rating: PG
Characters: Lex, Ben the Fan, Clark, Clex if you're inclined to see it
Spoilers: Coda to "Action", but it barely contains spoilers. Set some weeks after the episode.
Summary: Lex and Ben fanwank themselves into being Clark's archenemy. There can be only one. 1969 words )
bagheera_san: (primary colours)
If you guys ever needed proof that comics are awesome, here's it, ganked from [livejournal.com profile] scans_daily. Superman to Lana Lang, but Clark could say the exact same thing to Lana on the show and everyone would rejoice!

ugly pantsuits behind this cut )

I just thought SV fandom needed this. I hope tonight's finale is awesome. Hope dies last, okay? I haven't got to watch it until tomorrow!
bagheera_san: (primary colours)
If you guys ever needed proof that comics are awesome, here's it, ganked from [livejournal.com profile] scans_daily. Superman to Lana Lang, but Clark could say the exact same thing to Lana on the show and everyone would rejoice!

ugly pantsuits behind this cut )

I just thought SV fandom needed this. I hope tonight's finale is awesome. Hope dies last, okay? I haven't got to watch it until tomorrow!
bagheera_san: (toon!Clex toast)
*laughs and laughs and laughs* Gacked this from [livejournal.com profile] hils this is the best thing ever :D

The Drabble Generator

Sometimes it gets rather surreal:
Arise, wet snake, and lie about the astonishing bottle. )

But now, the Wacky Epic Tale of Lex and Superman:

A Raygun In Time )
Ah, but ever after was not to last. Lex had a sudden psychotic break that made him act out of character and Clark was kidnapped by supervillains:
Clark had been taken hostage by Glowing Chest, a supervillain who had the city in a state of painful terror. )
And so they had their first break-up, but it was not to last!
A Mighty Occurrence )

Their first Christmas together:
I Saw Lex Kissing Santa Claus )

After this, Lex started developing delusions of grandeur.
'Now with this bottle and this pair of handcuffs I can suddenly rule the world! )

'Of course,' Lex said. 'But now we're villainous, we can still have fun. If we go about it smartly.' )
Lex could hardly believe his Superman had returned. 'I will always love you, chin or no chin. Besides, you can cover it up with a story.' )
And all was hard.
THE END

I think from now on I won't bother to write my own stories. This works perfectly :D
bagheera_san: (toon!Clex toast)
*laughs and laughs and laughs* Gacked this from [livejournal.com profile] hils this is the best thing ever :D

The Drabble Generator

Sometimes it gets rather surreal:
Arise, wet snake, and lie about the astonishing bottle. )

But now, the Wacky Epic Tale of Lex and Superman:

A Raygun In Time )
Ah, but ever after was not to last. Lex had a sudden psychotic break that made him act out of character and Clark was kidnapped by supervillains:
Clark had been taken hostage by Glowing Chest, a supervillain who had the city in a state of painful terror. )
And so they had their first break-up, but it was not to last!
A Mighty Occurrence )

Their first Christmas together:
I Saw Lex Kissing Santa Claus )

After this, Lex started developing delusions of grandeur.
'Now with this bottle and this pair of handcuffs I can suddenly rule the world! )

'Of course,' Lex said. 'But now we're villainous, we can still have fun. If we go about it smartly.' )
Lex could hardly believe his Superman had returned. 'I will always love you, chin or no chin. Besides, you can cover it up with a story.' )
And all was hard.
THE END

I think from now on I won't bother to write my own stories. This works perfectly :D
bagheera_san: (Bat-Kiss)
So I just got into this with [livejournal.com profile] attaccabottoni in comments and now I can't stop thinking about it :D

SV has pressed the lightswitch and Lex is evil now. Or at least he's trying to be evil, but it doesn't really work that well so far. You know what Lex needs? Yeah. A good minion. Or many good minions. For some weird reason, SV won't give him Mercy, but she isn't the only option. How about the Three Lone Gunmen helping Lex to defeat the evil Alien Invaders? A couple of Slayer potentials as his bodyguards? Mr Bennet from Heroes as the head of Project Level 33.1? The Secret Six from Villains United as Lex's answer to Ollie's League?

Who do you think Lex should employ as/coerce into being his minion(s)?
bagheera_san: (Bat-Kiss)
So I just got into this with [livejournal.com profile] attaccabottoni in comments and now I can't stop thinking about it :D

SV has pressed the lightswitch and Lex is evil now. Or at least he's trying to be evil, but it doesn't really work that well so far. You know what Lex needs? Yeah. A good minion. Or many good minions. For some weird reason, SV won't give him Mercy, but she isn't the only option. How about the Three Lone Gunmen helping Lex to defeat the evil Alien Invaders? A couple of Slayer potentials as his bodyguards? Mr Bennet from Heroes as the head of Project Level 33.1? The Secret Six from Villains United as Lex's answer to Ollie's League?

Who do you think Lex should employ as/coerce into being his minion(s)?
bagheera_san: (J'onn)
For [livejournal.com profile] xparrot, with pics to illustrate characters and plot points (or just the fact that Catman is hot ;) )

DVD commentary )

Scans taken from "Wonder Woman" and "Justice League International" covers, "Villains United", "52", "Green Lantern" and "Superman/Shazam: First Thunder".
bagheera_san: (J'onn)
For [livejournal.com profile] xparrot, with pics to illustrate characters and plot points (or just the fact that Catman is hot ;) )

DVD commentary )

Scans taken from "Wonder Woman" and "Justice League International" covers, "Villains United", "52", "Green Lantern" and "Superman/Shazam: First Thunder".
bagheera_san: (Hiro Ando WTF)
I'm very suggestible. And a bit of a perv. Also, there are moments when SV makes me despair so much that I long for extreme measures to make them stop angsting.

So, [livejournal.com profile] the_rejection and I got to talk about next episode and Lois in skimpy red outfits and people fighting in the ring. Heh. I'm sorry I must subject you all to this fic, because I can't write humour.

Also, this link might clarify things. Or maybe just amuse you, if you like silly conspiracy theories: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptoids

Title: A Little Dirt
Genre: Crack
Spoilers: Freak, Promise
Characters: Clark, Lois, Chloe, Lex, Lana
Summary: Aliens make them do it. (2670)

A Little Dirt )
bagheera_san: (Hiro Ando WTF)
I'm very suggestible. And a bit of a perv. Also, there are moments when SV makes me despair so much that I long for extreme measures to make them stop angsting.

So, [livejournal.com profile] the_rejection and I got to talk about next episode and Lois in skimpy red outfits and people fighting in the ring. Heh. I'm sorry I must subject you all to this fic, because I can't write humour.

Also, this link might clarify things. Or maybe just amuse you, if you like silly conspiracy theories: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptoids

Title: A Little Dirt
Genre: Crack
Spoilers: Freak, Promise
Characters: Clark, Lois, Chloe, Lex, Lana
Summary: Aliens make them do it. (2670)

A Little Dirt )

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